Catalyst for Change

In these turbulent times, it is necessary to roll with the punches and spring back when life is throwing new challenges at you.

Fortunately, women are excellent at reinventing themselves and making a silk purse from a sow’s ear. Think about it, how many times have you had to re-evaluate your wardrobe to mimic current fashion and change your hairstyle to keep from looking frumpy?  Hairdresser, Andrew Collinge’s survey of 3,000 women revealed that we are likely to change our hair style 100 times during our lifetime!  Victoria Beckham; like her or loathe her, is keeping up the average and currently under going yet another hirsute metamorphose; only part of her multi-pronged, every changing scheme to stay ahead of the game. Jimmy Choo, the purveyor of gorgeous shoes, knows that there is a direct link between how we react with our environment and how we feel; he reckons a women chooses a pair of shoes because she knows they will give her the confidence to step out – and who hasn’t brought ridiculously expensive and ill fitting footwear – because they make you feel special?

Men just don’t seem to have the same breadth and capacity for change and personal reinvention; apart from tweaks to their hair and a nod towards changing seasons.

In the current climate, a women’s ability to adapt and think about what is good and what is not, is a valuable thing – and never more so than in the workplace. Shoes and hairstyles aside; a woman’s chameleon like ability to meet the demands of the current financial fiasco is the key to success.

A wise sage said, ‘the only constant is change’: now is the time then to re-evaluate your ideals and produce a silk purse.  Here’s how:-

Recognise when you are in need of change and prepare.  An ostrich may well bury it’s head in the sand but think what it is holding up for all to see – yes exactly – just waiting to be kicked.

Recognise also that change is like any type of friction: it rubs and may hurt a little.

Face your fears.  Most of us don’t embrace extreme sports; but there is something to be said for meeting your challenges head on and feeling ‘the rush’.

Be on the same page. Communicate! Explore your options, listen to the opinions of others and think how we can all help one another – it can pay surprising dividends.

Take stock. You have more resources than you realise. Think about the worse case scenario and how you will deal with it – you may surprise yourself.

And finally, although change can be an unwelcome guest: equip yourself well and not only will you survive – but you will thrive!

Mary-Jane Kingsland is a business coach and mentor and part of The Coaching Collective; five coaches working together, embracing the changing demands of the workplace. Contact her at mary.jane.kingsland@gmail.com or at Green Light Coaching and Mentoring:- http://www.green-light.uk.com

Personal Branding – a light hearted look at a serious topic

Columnists are often asked how they think of a new topic every time and I am sure most would agree that there is usually something that sparks a random train of thought; often after an unconnected series of events – and suddenly you find yourself thinking of something in a new way. Take me for instance, listening to the DJ Chris Evans early one morning on Radio 2 as I drove to a breakfast meeting. I was thinking that after a challenging start, Chris had done sterling work to make the early morning show his own and I was enjoying his chat about his son Noah, who has been a bit poorly recently; apparently they spent the previous evening on You Tube looking at old Mr Men programmes. I was transported; my early morning professional head and focus to arrive at my meeting on time (with appropriate paperwork and preparation) took a back seat, as I became once again the mushy nostalgic mother, who remembers: sitting with her daughter, reading Mr Men books and laughing at the extreme characters portrayed so beautifully by Roger Hargreaves. Of course we had our favorites – and collected the entire series for mutual edification. I arrived at my meeting and as luck would have it; it was one of those meetings that leaves you a bit frustrated. Mr Angry was definitely present, as was little Miss Stubborn, Mr Noisy couldn’t be quelled and Mr Greedy ate all the croissants – it would have made a great episode children ! I came away feeling a bit like Little Miss Disappointed. As my day’s diary of events unfolded, I mused that realistically we all have our own agenda, which is likely to be different from everyone else’s; depending upon what role we occupy and what is expected of us. But, commercially speaking; all Mr and Little Misses – and their living embodiments; need to wake up to the fact that everything we do and say projects a personal brand; your personal brand is what other people say about you when you are not in the room. For most of the us the stakes are currently stacked extremely high. Whether you are employed, self employed or looking for something new, your personal brand is key. One unassailable fact is that visibility has become increasingly important. As such, there may never have been a more crucial time to consider your reputation and reach; social networking sites are effectively shrinking the world and there really is no place to hide. Recruiters have their pick of the best, business to business is often conducted on personal preference as well as fiscal advantage. It makes complete sense to take your personal brand seriously. Moreover it has to authentic, others will always spot a fake. In essence: what is your personal brand saying about you?

You can email M-J at mj@maryjanekingsland.co.uk

Time Management for Profitable Productivity

One of the biggest barriers to productively and profit is poor time management.

The Problem

Are you drowning under too much pressure because of the never ending barrage of demands upon your time; be it phone calls; emails, texts, social media and the plethora of daily activity which demand your attention?  Do you know only too well what you want to achieve, but simply run out of time most days?

The Answer is in your hands

All cures begin with an accurate diagnosis, or as Albert Einstein observed: ‘Few problems can be solved by the kind of thinking that created them in the first place’. Or to put it another way:-

Keep doing the same thing as you have always done and you can expect the same results’

Too often our attempts at time management are akin to re-arranging deck chairs on the Titanic. Think about it.

Make a list

The value of writing a daily ‘To Do; list is that you move the tasks from your unconscious mind to your conscious mind and this will help you to concentrate upon what you have to do, but …..

Once you have written your list, always take a moment to review it. If your list appears endless, you will feel demoralised and a less likely to make good headway. If you have more than 4-5 items on it, ask yourself if you are likely to have time for everything today? Less important things may have to go on the back burner until you are ready to give them your attention – there is always a natural order to things; exercise your ‘choice muscle’ and develop a more flexible approach, and

Remember that most of your have to do’s are self imposed. Very few things in life are truly “musts”. To make a list work you have to prioritise.  Always remember the luxury of choice and use it to write a list that is achievable today. Tomorrow you can kick start the process with another achievable list and as the days unfold you can enjoy the experience of achievement.

Plan your time

There is an old saying: “when you find yourself in a hole, the least you can do is stop digging!” Abraham Lincoln said – “If I had 8 hours to chop down a tree, I would spend the first 7 hours sharpening my axe.” Never has there been a better metaphor for planning.

And finally

High achievers make achieving their goals a lifestyle choice. They create a way of working that is built around their most important values and their true beliefs. They live the life they truly want because they have flexed their choice muscle daily. High achievers don’t  waste their precious time promising that someday they will write a book or take a vacation. They plan and take the necessary actions to effectively create the life that reflects their greatest desires and they do it TODAY, tomorrow and everyday thereafter.

We are all blessed with 1440 minutes every single day of our lives. February has 41,760 minutes. Grasp the nettle today and experience the benefits.

If you would like a more personal approach to good time management, contact me mary.jane.kingsland@gmail.com and I will be glad to help.

Females take the Lead in times of Crises

Women are often appointed leaders of some of the most successful companies in their most critical moments. Some well known examples are: the appointments of the prime minister of Sweden when the country suffered as a result of the global recession and  the CEO of the oil company Sunoco, appointed when the share price dropped by 50%. But why does this phenomenon (known as the glass cliff), occur?

In 2005, a year-long study conducted by Caliper2, a Princeton, New Jersey-based management consulting firm, and Aurora, a London-based organisation that advances women, identified a number of characteristics that distinguish women leaders from men when it comes to qualities of leadership:

1. Women leaders are more persuasive than their male counterparts.

2. When feeling the sting of rejection, women leaders learn from adversity and carry on with an “I’ll show you” attitude.

3. Women leaders demonstrate an inclusive, team-building leadership style of problem solving and decision making.

4. Women leaders are more likely to ignore rules and take risks.

Despite research showing that women have specific leadership qualities, Susanna Bruckmüller and Nyla Branscombe (2010) noted, in their research, that women often only became leaders in times of trouble because men lack the attributes to do so.

As part of their research, they carried out two tests on different sets of people. The first posed a group with a fictitious story of a company in trouble. Respondents would pick a female to take over if the previous bosses had been men but would pick either a man or a woman if they had been women. Why did it not work both ways?

In the second test, they provided the respondents with details of a fake supermarket chain and described to them two managerial candidates, one male and one female. The respondents were asked who they would pick if the business was thriving or if it was in crisis. They discovered that the man was often appointed leader in times of prosperity but the woman, thanks to her stereotypical attributes (e.g. more Emotional Intelligence etc), would be picked if the company was in trouble.

The work of Bruckmüller and Branscombe appears to have highlighted a real-life male leadership bias. They conclude that women only get their true opportunity to lead when it is believed that men can no longer do so, and not because of their merits.

The research highlights some interesting points. Do we perceive women’s leadership qualities only useful in a crisis? Being Emotionally Intelligent would seem to be not enough to ensure that women have the opportunity to excel at leadership. There are obviously some great women leaders (Indra Nooyi, CEO of Pepsi), however, it would appear to still be the norm to only choose a female leader in times of crisis, regardless of how many leadership attributes they may have.

I have recently qualified as an Emotional Intelligence Practitioner, specialising in Emotions and Behaviours at Work and the contents of and research that informs the blog is courtesy of the ebwonline team of Business Psychologists to whom I offer my thanks. You can see the original article at http://goo.gl/UOGUZ and see the website at http://www.ebwonline.com

Bruckmüller, S. & Branscombe, N. (2010). The glass cliff: When and why women are selected as leaders in crisis contexts. British Journal of Social Psychology, 49 (3), 433-451

The Business of Emotional Intelligence

The other day I heard someone say, “Sex is biology, gender is culture”.  Or to put it another way, sex is biological, what we believe about ourselves may be mistakenly attributed to biology. What we believe is driven by the culture in which we live and can differ, but since the 1950’s gender has been increasingly used to distinguish the different ‘social’ roles adopted by the sexes. These social roles morph and merge as society evolves, but the construct of gender stereotyping can ignite many a passionate debate. It is a bit like the Hans Christian Anderson story of the Emperor’s New Clothes, the obvious, naked truth stares us in the face.

Men and women enjoy differences, which extend far beyond our physical form. One noteworthy distinction is our respective cognitive skills.  The term IQ is generally accepted to represent a reliable measure of cognitive capacity and interestingly men and women differ in how they perform in IQ testing. For example, women tend to score higher on certain verbal and memory tests, whereas men tend to score higher on spatial tests …  giving rise to the genre of bad ‘women drivers’ jokes.

Recognition of possible differences in mental aptitude between the sexes is nothing new. The question was debated at length during the mid nineteenth century when a woman’s right to vote was the subject of considerable impassioned exchange.  The fact that men tend to have larger brains was argued as one reason against women having the vote, but as we know, size isn’t everything……

In the 1990’s the theory of emotional intelligence (EI) was proposed by psychologist Danial Goleman and after an article in Time magazine in 1995, there was general recognition that the traditional measures of intelligence, such as the  IQ test, failed to fully explain cognitive ability. Emotional intelligence can be described as an awareness of your own thoughts, feelings, beliefs and values; balanced against an awareness of other people’s. The four pillars of EI are self-awareness, self-management, social awareness and relationship management. Or to put it simply, enabling the rational and the emotional sides of your brain to work in harmony.

Interestingly, recent research has found that there is a direct correlation between a high EI score and exceptional business prowess. The majority of us work with others and interact on a daily basis with any number of people. One can easily see how a developed quota of emotional intelligence could help to enhance daily exchanges and build supportive relationships. A sales executive for example (and aren’t we all?) will benefit from the ability to gauge a potential customer’s mood and use skill to know when to pitch the product and when to mentally bookmark that discussion for another day.

You may not be surprised to learn that there are accepted gender differences in the field of emotional intelligence. A recent comprehensive study of some 8,000 men and women found that women outperformed their male counterparts on measures of empathy and social responsibility, both very good qualities for management and leadership, balanced by the men’s abilities to withstand stress and deal with the issues of self-confidence. The study concluded that women and men are equally intelligent emotionally, but the intelligence manifests in different ways.

The good news is that we can all increase our EI quota and I have some suggestions that may help:-

Firstly, trust your intuition and be guided by your values.

Listen to your instincts and take the time to consider your options.

If you Achilles heel is lack of confidence consider ways to tackle it, self development and further training may be the answer.

If stress-management is an issue, consider what techniques would help you. It does not have to involve a darkened room and chanting; a regular kickboxing class might be just what you need!

And, finally the good news is that you already have a ‘head’ start.

Mary-Jane Kingsland is a Business Coach and founder of Green Light – a fresh approach to coaching and mentoring in the work place.

Why shouldn’t we wear what we want ?

As modern working women we tread a fine line between wearing what we would like to wear and what society deems ‘appropriate’. Yet it begs the question, why shouldn’t we wear what we want?

The recent publicity attracted by Canadian PC, Michael Sanguinetti following his comment that women should stop dressing ‘like sluts’ to avoid being victimised has sparked global protest – 5,000 women have already held protests in Toronto and Boston and a reported further 5,000 will march in London on June 11.

Legislation goes some way to protect our right to choose; guidance offered by the Equal Opportunities Commission suggests that the Human Rights Act could arguably strengthen a sex discrimination claim about dress codes and the European Convention on Human Rights covers freedom from discrimination; although it is not a freestanding right, it can be cited in conjunction with other rights, such as the freedom of expression; as applicable to dress codes.

However, reliance upon legislation is a long shot and most of us experience the daily pressure to conform – and with the exception of those that must wear a prescribed uniform, it is a minefield of compromise. If we fly in the face of convention and dress exuberantly we risk criticism and as the majority of us are not bound by a prescriptive dress code – we must rely upon our best judgment. Problems arise when that judgment is not shared by those with whom we work.

Whilst we can never have any control over the peculiar perceptions of some, we can make informed decisions about what is best for us and our chosen career, because how we look is important and inescapably affects how we are perceived. Like it or lump it, a woman’s appearance is often associated with how well she does her job; for instance: ask for a description of a male colleague and you will be told about their style of working, possibly followed by a brief physical portrayal; ask for a description of a female colleague and their physical attributes are cited first, more often than not.

Perhaps it’s different for the generations; my 24-year-old daughter: extrovert and unashamedly feminine she is of the view that she is entitled to wear whatever she fancies and is happy to express her personality through dress; whereas my years in the legal profession have left me with a more conservative approach.

You are left to decide for yourselves what best suits you and your working life. We will always have our detractors, but happily we will also have the last laugh; some individuals still think that women dress for men… they haven’t realised that we actually dress for one another!

And, finally, the argument that women invite sexual discrimination or even attack because of their choice of clothing is ridiculous. Imagine for a moment a female sexual predator using the same defence; ‘his trousers were very tight and he was just asking for it’… excuse me whilst I laugh up my designer sleeve.

Mary-Jane is a Professional Mentor, Coach and Trainer. You can email her:  mary.jane.kingsland@gmail.com

Do Leaders Have Special Powers ?

Leaders can inspire great enthusiasm in others and create great affection for themselves and their passions – but how do they do it? Do they have Special Powers??

Having thought about this a lot over the years I have identified some remarkable attributes which natural leaders seem to share: I think they are very special indeed.

Xray Specs

Imagine that you have just found the best product in the world and you want to build a team to help you get your product to market and maximise that market for everyones enjoyment. How do you know which people to choose?

Well, a decent pair of xray specs would come in handy wouldn’t it. You could look into the souls of others and see their motivations and talents; but, inspirational leaders don’t need xray specs they can see you, warts and all and know that you have the potential to be part of something great – and this is their special power; a great leader sees the energy and qualities that you bring and a true leader knows how to nurture your talent.

Hypnotic Gaze

Have you noticed how that time spent with some people just leaves you smiling. You can’t help yourself; you have had an enjoyable experience and you want to do it again soon, but why is that? It’s because special people exude warmth, they are passionate about life – passionate about you; they are not afraid to show it – and the energy they radiate is catching.  The Hypnotic gaze of a undercover leader may catch you unawares – they may use their most effective weapon; a warm smile, when you least expect it, to throw you off guard – it’s infectious and there is no cure – try it for yourself. We are all hardwired to take on the energy of those around us. Leaders know this and will happily help you harness your inner happiness.

Quantum Leaps

True leaders are not constrained by time.They do not drag around the baggage of the past, they inhabit the future and know that it is full of amazing opportunities and reachable dreams.

Napoleon Bonaparte once  said, “Leaders are dealers in hope.” They infuse optimism into the culture  around them, and they boost morale. While attentive to the current reality,  they do not resign themselves to present circumstance.”  In essence, they live for the future.

Cloak of Invisibility

Leaders know the value of working with a team and true leaders don’t need to hog all the limelight; they embrace the power of the team spirit and value everyone’s contributions. As a result, a leaders greatest satisfaction is found celebrating a team triumph.

Know any leaders with special powers ?

My Mentor and Me

Mentors are a powerful combination of ‘wise old owl’ and critical friend; they make it easier to achieve our goals – and have some fun along the way; they hold us responsible for meeting deadlines, accomplishing goals and making progress.

How My Mentor relationship works

When you enter into a relationship with a mentor, you agree to hold each other accountable. Talking on a regular basis is essential for maintaining momentum and making steady progress toward your goals.

Ideally, you should talk to your mentor every week. During the intervening 7 days you have the time to accomplish your goals for the week and plan your commitments for the next.  Your mentor will note down your goals and ask you about them next time.

Once a month or every other week you should schedule a longer meeting with your mentor so they can provide a deeper level of support and insight.

Use the time with your mentor to get their input on a challenge you are facing; brainstorm ways to achieve a particular goal you’ve set, or tap into your mentor’s network of resources – it’s always the case that two heads are better than one.

When looking for a Mentor, look for someone who:

Is 100% committed to growth; theirs as well as yours.  Mentors are as interested in their own growth as they are in yours.

Keep any agreements you make. Entering into a mentoring relationship requires making a commitment of time and energy – yours as well as theirs.

Always hold yourself accountable. One easy way to sabotage your success is to make excuses for yourself when you don’t keep to your agreements. Your mentor will listen to your justifications with compassion and kindness but don’t be at all surprised whey they don’t buy into them. Your mentor will hang on to your vision of success even when you have let go; and challenge you to do the work necessary to achieve the earlier goals you have set.

One thing is certain, at times you will slip and not keep to your commitments. Your mentor will help keep you focused and support you in finding a good solution.

Questions to ask a potential Mentor:

When you find someone who you would like to mentor you; have an honest conversation about what you want from the relationship. The more candid you are about what you need and what challenges have prevented you from achieving your goals in the past; the better equipped your mentor will be to support you.

A few questions a good Mentor will ask you at the start of your relationship:

What motivates you?

When you have set goals in the past, what worked to keep you focused and moving forward?

When you were met with obstacles, or you weren’t achieving as much success as you wanted – what kept you moving forward?

What do I need to know about you that might present challenges in our relationship?

What do I need to know about you that will support our relationship during difficult times?

Working with a good mentor is similar to climbing a mountain range with a skilled accomplice. They will help you hold on to the vision of the summit when you find yourself in a dark valley. They will encourage you when we you get tired and feel like quitting – and when you reach a new peak they will celebrate your success and help you navigate your way to the next. It may be possible to make the climb alone, but it’s far easier and much more enjoyable with your mentor by your side.

Thanks to Nigel for making me think of this. M-J

New Year – Are You In Charge ?

There is something so beautifully hopeful about a brand new year; shiny and new, all 12 months, 52 weeks, 365 days, 8,760 hours, 52,600 minutes and 3,153,600 seconds just waiting to be filled.

I imagine that like me you want to make 2011 as special as you can and yet, I know if it were all so jolly ‘Simples’; the ‘same old, same old’ by week two would not look so, all too familiar, but your salvation may lie in recognising that we are all creatures of habit and within our habits; good and bad, lies disarming comfort – and this being the case: it is so much easier to keep on keeping on, rather than throwing out the old and making way for the new, positively risky and possibly uncomfortable….. changes.

Yet, like it or lump it, life is all about change. A multiplicity of change takes place all the time – time refuses to stay still -and neither should we. If we sat in a darkened room, life outside would still move inextricably on – and so, it makes perfect sense to move on with it. Thus and with due humility, I would like to offer up some ideas that may spark your passion :

Firstly: Give yourself permission to recognise and embrace the need for change. Think about it, why would you wait for someone else to give you permission to move your life forward? Ask yourself: what are you waiting for?

Secondly: Recognise the need for a balanced life. Pursing your dreams is important and others should recognise that too; enroll their help. Too much work and not enough play can make life very dull indeed. Be proactive, there is very little joy in spending all your days doing others bidding; no matter who they are, recognise that your needs are also a priority.

And finally: Embrace the fact that you are indeed in charge of your life; for if you are not – who is ? It makes sense to take yourself seriously; to set out your priorities – to plan your time wisely; to recognise your goals; work out which are important to you this year and how you are going to turn your hopes into reality – … ‘Simples’!

You can contact Mary-Jane at mary.jane.kingsland@gmail.com Mary-Jane is a business coach and mentor and founder of Green Light Mentoring – for the business of life ….

Mince pies and hot desking

Christmas offers up the best time for prevarication. I can waste an endless amount of time eating yet another mince pie, training and stretching my stomach  in readiness for the real challenge yet to come – Christmas lunch – on average 7,000 calories apparently ..!  Anything to avoid actually working.

I don’t mind admitting that I am finding it really hard; nay … (was that the sound of deer on the roof ??) impossible, to keep from being distracted and get on with anything resembling profitable output. Apart from the obligatory distractions of Christmas present buying; including those extra tricky ‘Secret Santa’ (success or distress for a fiver); there are so many extra curricula ‘only at Christmas’ activities we have to squeeze in around the daily grind; time management – ‘Bah Humbug !’

Take writing this column for example. I know I have to do it; I know when it has to be ready; but how long have I still messed around sorting my in tray (well, lifting and replacing the contents) and archiving irrelevant emails – generally trying to cheat my serious head; which by the way is getting very frustrated with me, into thinking that I really am, “going to get on with it in a minute” – honest !

If this sounds familiar we may have finally got to the point of this column.

Most of us are charged with the job (apart from the day one obviously) of chief custodian of everything historically assigned to womenfolk – you don’t you really need a list.  Whilst mere mortals are relaxing on their sofas and enjoying some time off…  we find ourselves …. ‘just loading the washing machine; writing a few cards, checking my emails – be there in a minute’ … . At times like this, when the burden is exacerbated by the small matter of offering up the best Christmas you can – (and by the 25th!) is it at all surprising that your coping mechanism flashes Rudolph red alert and offers you yet another mince pie by way of a platitude.

Quite frankly, no. And, if like me your problem is compounded by enjoying the freedom of working for yourself, then you are in double trouble – my kitchen has never been so clean or the dishwasher emptied and refilled so frequently.

I have a new years resolution. It is to find fellow sufferers who love working for themselves, but also enjoy the discipline of mindless chat around the photocopier and want to hot desk a little. I seek the holy grail of really ‘logging off’ and I am already reserving my place on the sofa.

Of course there is always the danger that my attention will still wander and I am thinking that I should install a token dishwasher close by said hot desk – to stack and re-stack at will; thus fooling my sensible head into thinking that I am being productive …. after all.

Mary-Jane works as Coach and Mentor in her business Green Light. See her website at  HYPERLINK “http://www.green-light.uk.com” www.green-light.uk.com

Have confidence in yourself and your business will thrive

Entrepreneurism is charging up the popularity poles and, true to type, refuses to lay down and keep quiet.

Barely a day passes without a missive from someone urging us into new enterprise – self reliance and self employment.

The message is very powerful. Duncan Bannatyne – who needs no introduction, has recently said that ‘it is the best time ever to start [a new business]’.  Given the critical nature of the employment market and the redundancy horror stories that affect everyone in every sector, the rally call is timely and may be seen as motivating; but is it misplaced? Entrepreneurship is not a boat that everyone can float.

As an Ambassador for Enterprising Women, I recently met 45 female entrepreneurs at the House of Commons. It was evident that each and every one of us had turned our passion it into a workable business. The glorious evening was hosted by Bev Hurley: herself a serial entrepreneur and one of the UK’s leading experts on growing sustainable and successful women-owned businesses.

On the drive home I mused upon the secret ingredient that these ladies evidently possess.  Is it nature or nurture? Were these ladies born with a business brain and unshakeable resolve, or did life fashion their choices and the right doors open for them?

Duncan Bannatyne’s fellow Dragon, Peter Jones, believes that entrepreneurship and enterprise is something that can be taught. He has orchestrated the National Enterprise Academy to foster enterprise amongst the next generation, male and female – but, which ever side of the bed you lie, there is one very special ingredient that you must have by the bucket load – confidence in yourself. And there’s the rub; for whatever reason, women tend towards self-depreciation and a lack of self belief. Fundamentally we do not believe that we can do it on our own and this in a nutshell is what holds so many of us back.

My musing have led me to believe that there is a reason and perhaps an answer. As far back as we know, men fought for what they wanted. Using their innate physical strength they found food, shelter and a mate to bear and raise their children. Only the strongest survived.  Although evolution has ensured that modern manifestations of progress are rather more sophisticated; genetic memory is very strong.  With a warrior’s mindset, you can well understand why self belief and self reliance begets self-confidence. Women, on the other hand, have historically depended upon their menfolk to protect and provide. Remember that women only won the right to vote in 1928, just 72 years ago.  Some say that this land mark was the resultant and cumulative appreciation of women’s work efforts during the First World War and the subsequent change in focus. Prior to that, women’s working role in western countries was limited, designated, ‘women’s work’ for the majority.

So, history and anthropology aside, if you are battling with a lack of self confidence; you are not alone – take heart and be brave.

Mary-Jane is a Norfolk business coach and mentor. You can contact her at mary.jane.kingsland@gmail.com